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The Fight

I was told by someone the other day that, “I struggle every day with self-doubt and can’t get anything done. You’re crushing it. I want to be like you.”

I thought about this for a while and what first came to mind was what Watts said, “I want what you want.” This was his response to asking, “What do you want.”

This profound concept reveals that we are the same. Not just you and I, but all of humanity.

At the Most Basic Level…

At the most basic fundamental level, we want to be recognized and loved. Recognized for our contributions and loved unconditionally. This reinforces our construct of ourselves and gives us meaning. I believe it is one of the reasons why we’re alive.

When you say you want to be like me, you are.

I have the same feelings, same desires, same needs, the same wants as you. If you can see that, you can see yourself in me. And this can awaken you. You would develop a level of self-appreciation and self-love that you may have never had when you realize, I am I because you are you.

And this will overwhelm and deconstruct your consciousness. You will begin to see others very differently. You begin to see others have the same feelings and desires for hope, love, connection, accomplishment, friendship – as you and this will fracture your ego and connect you at a much deeper level.

That is the first step.

You Have No Control…

The next is the realization of impermanence and lack of control. You must realize that you are just along for the ride – navigating impermanence like water meandering down a winding river.

You cannot control the outcome of any event in your life. In fact, you cannot control anything except for your own thoughts and your actions. Which is why your thoughts will determine so much in your life.

You take action and accept the outcome – good or bad. Then you take another action.

The fight becomes about continuing on, when things don’t go your way and persevering when life hits back and stops you in your tracks. Remember, nothing is more powerful than water, because it is in perpetual motion.

As the Tao (Mitchell) states, “Nothing in the world is as soft and yielding as water. Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible, nothing can surpass it. The soft overcomes the hard; the gentle overcomes the rigid. – because it is relentless.”

Flowing around an obstacle (or opportunity if you’re an optimist) will ensure you have another choice and another action to take in the immediate now. But if you stop, then momentum and your potential is lost.

So now it switches from, “You’re so lucky!” to “You’re so relentless and I can have what you have, if I just don’t stop. If I am relentless, I can achieve my goals, live my passions, and have purpose in my life.”

“I don’t need control, I need grit.”

The fight is knowing that it is up to you and only you.

And the question is, are you stronger than your own negative thoughts and self-imposed fears to keep pushing?

By on October 1st, 2017


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Proud Dad. Ambassador of Kindness. Champion Hugger. Aspiring Daoist. Strength Coach. Entrepreneur. Author.

Comments (3)

  1. Posted by - James allen on January 22, 2018

    great words , thanks to your recommendation, I finished way of peaceful warrior and Iam now onto the next book of his the laws of the spirit. I attempt to practice acceptance and flowing daily

  2. Posted by - Sarah Cummings on July 23, 2018

    Thank you for sharing this inspiring article. Other readers should check this out! (Thumbs up)

  3. Posted by - vidhu on December 12, 2020

    Solid article Smitty..loved reading it😊

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